Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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