please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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