I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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