Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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