I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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