you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
