Your tits are I can't wait for
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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