Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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