I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
