Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
