im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
