i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
sarcasm needs its own font
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize