I wish I could punch you in the face.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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