Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.