Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
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I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.