why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.