No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize