This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
