i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
