So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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