Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
