Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
