so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
