My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
