Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
