watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
