so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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