Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
