Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think your dad took our porno
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
