I got chris browned last night
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
