It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
