Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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