if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
