She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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