i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize