K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
