Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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