i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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