RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
