my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
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omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
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he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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