you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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