Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
