xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
