so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
false alarm, still single
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
