it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Randomize
