Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
