I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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