Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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