Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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