No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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