In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I had to cum in my sink.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize