It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
