I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
