My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
