Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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