I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
