ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
