I wish I could punch you in the face.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You can't motorboat a personality
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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