Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
